I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
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