tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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