I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
