I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
