mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
