I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
