i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
