Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
