her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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