My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
