Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
