Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
