I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
birth control should be required to get into college
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
