Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
