You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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