I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I met the friendliest cop last night
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
