Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
