Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
