oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
