She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
