Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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