You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
