I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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