its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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