Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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