She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
