Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think your dad took our porno
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They have beer where we have blood.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
