I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
