so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
