theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
