yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
