we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
