Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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