Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
