I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
