if only i could text you this smell
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I see more hoeing in ur future
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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