I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
