I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
