I hate all girls vehemently.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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