We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish you could order shots online.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
