he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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