Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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