you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
