and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
