Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
