the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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