but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
