she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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