in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
