Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
