This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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