There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
