so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
