So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
