we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
